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WHO'S THE BOSS: Real Talk On Personal Power

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I remember reading Carlos Castaneda in my teens. There was a concept he discussed as taught by Don Juan Matus, a “man of knowledge” and great shaman of the Toltec lineage, that really stood out to me as I was diving into esoteric and metaphysical study. I don’t remember the exact quote, nor the chapter or even which book it was I was reading, but this one idea was so powerful that now, all these years down the path of becoming, do I understand what he meant.

Don Juan taught that the most powerful shamans or sorcerers (one who is a channel for Source, as Wayne Dyer put it) need no props, no frills, no tricks, nothing. It is all within you. This was the message. I enjoyed studying everything growing up, and I still do. When I read this lesson, I was delving into comparative religion, magic, tarot, crystals, uses of sage, rituals, yoga, meditation, and working on my developing my psychic abilities and inner vision by testing myself with games. For example, instead of actually reading the questions on standardized tests in high school, I would simply look at my 4 bubble choices, and feel into which was the right answer. (And I did really, really well on that particular scantron test by the way.) I would tell my little brother to take ten cups and hide one pebble underneath them and I would have to know which cup had the object. I would meditate in front of the fireplace or go in our back yard and talk to all the swirling energy I saw around me. I called the energy I could see, “the dots” because my vision would shift and all matter would appear as pulsating, vibrating tiny little dots that looked something like atoms and molecules; as if a scene turned into tiny pixelated versions of itself.

I am in a place in my personal development where I am reflecting on this idea more so lately, as I deepen my work and practice and find myself in the midst of the powerfully emerging wellness scene here in New York City. Everybody has something to help you balance, align, awaken, understand, heal, feel, resolve, release, etc., myself included in that. The crystal light bed is an amazing tool for personal transformation. This shit is absolutely powerful and changed my life. Acupuncture is powerful, crystals, tarot, astrology, red tent ceremonies, theta healing, angel readings, cranial sacral sessions, etc,. All these practices, rituals and therapies are great tools to help you get to the place where you truly understand yourself. But they are just that: tools. I am seeing a whole lot of people in this community identifying with form, reaching for something externally that is going to cure them, and staying stuck in egoic identification with the "thing" or ritual itself, instead of using these tools for their intended purpose: access to the peace and clarity that comes from within you. 

The whole point is not the ritual, it is becoming a badass who knows what’s up and has no need for props or frills. The point is feeling safe because you know you are safe internally. 

For example, what is the dominant vibration behind your use of sage? Are you running around fearing that a terrible energy is out to get you? Or, do you enjoy how this herb in your space makes you feel? And by the way…sage does not clear negative spiritual energy. It thins the veil. We can learn to clear undesirable energy with our eyes closed in stillness, without a tool. There is ritual involved, process, working with multidimensional reality and powerful light sources.

We do not need anything outside of ourselves.

I do not need tarot to tell me what to do or what is happening in my life. This can be a powerful tool indeed, and can help you see your inner world when it’s hard to gain perspective. It is a divination tool to help you connect with the guides within. But, you can talk to guides from a certain brainwave state achieved in meditation. You don't need the tarot. You can astral project, meld with the energy of a plant, know if someone is thinking about you (in what context and when), or talk to a crystal or an animal from this same space. It all happens without anything but you and your highest self. I know what to do and how to move from feeling into the depths of my heart and soul, not a card that tells me what to do.  If I do not know what to do, that means the information isn’t in yet and I must be patient with divine timing. I do not make moves until I know what to do. If I were to do tarot reading for myself when I truly do not know what to do, I would have a reading reflecting my inner conflict, so the meaning would come from a story I created based on what I see and feel.

But guess what player: all meaning comes from a story you create based on what you see and how you feel. 

Perhaps the story would serve your purpose, and help you to move forward. And thus the tarot served as a tool. But you pull cards based on law of attraction. Now, there are many people who are working towards becoming one with their truth, and seeing it clearly. This is why tarot can be such a powerful divination system as it awakens people to know what they are actually vibrating and what may truly be in their hearts when they cannot see it for themselves. In this example with tarot, I do not mean to disregard the divination system or how it can be helpful to people. Tarot itself, is not my point. 

I only mean emphasize that you and your intuition together are more powerful than anything anyone tells you. It's not about the reader, or the pendulum, or the crystal. The point is the wisdom and vibration you want to gain from working with it.

I know, I used to be that girl obsessively checking my astrology reports: Vedic, Western, Destiny Cards, daily, monthly, hourly. I get it. I don’t need to do that all the time anymore.

I don't check what is going on out there because "out there" isn't affecting what's "in here" as much.

It's good to be aware of frequencies. It's even better to emit your own so strong that it just doesn't matter. I like to work with my astrologer, as a roadmap, biannually, for in depth check-ins. Beyond that, I just breath with my heart. 

I am down with my North Node position. But on a regular basis, I do not look to the stars or the cards, or to others. I look within myself. 

Unfortunately, what I see happening is a lot of control energy, wanting to know the future, escapism, and identification with form and we have to be careful with spiritual ritual and practice in this regard. Use discernment. Behavior and intention can turn to escapism, or surface practices without heart or soul, when we lose awareness of the underlying vibration and core intention around our wellness rituals. I see a lot of people who “do” all the right “practices” and have been for years, who are still ridden with frustration, anxiety, fear, conflict, anger, and more. Do not listen blindly to any sage, seer, or master. Just focus on your own shit, and go get it. Sometimes it's as simple as that. I take on, with humility, advice from those people I trust, with greater wisdom, more experience, or a unique perspective. But I take that advice into my own heart, sit with it and see what truth resonates for me personally.

Ultimately true knowing will come from within. There is no other way. 

I have a crystal staff. I used to use it in full moon rituals in Central Park. In my early 20s, I would very dramatically dress in all white, take my writings, intentions, poetry, drawing, my daughter, something with which to light written intentions on fire, and march out in the night and perform whatever I was intending and manifesting--and let’s be honest—who the fuck else was out in central park with a crystal staff at midnight on full moons ten years ago performing ritual and lighting things on fire? It was cool and fun and a silly magical thing I could do. But, I no longer use or really need my crystal staff, other than for decoration, because you must learn to speak to Source, to God, to the Universe with power and caliber from your heart, from wherever you are. It doesn’t matter what items you have or do not have. I love raven feathers and dream catchers. But I know I do not need them. I am not a huge fan of psychics readings that look too deep into the future for you, because this can turn into a form of control energy and can take away the process of one learning to make conscious, aligned decisions. I read the energy of a situation for my clients and help them identify dominant vibrations about people, relationships, context, or big decisions, but I deter these conversations from getting too deep and desperate about a future that has yet to be created or written in stone. There is great beauty and excitement in the mystery of it all unfolding. 

So, what about the moment where you reach a deep well of clarity within yourself? What about after the daily fear is gone? What about after you are free? I don’t mean to say that fear doesn’t creep up. It does and it will. I am totally cool with being human, with crying, with being exhausted and raw. I have a set process to deal with lower emotions and it’s healthy, cathartic and makes me feel safe and cared for. I get scared sometimes. I can push myself too hard and bite off more than I can chew. Sometimes I feel alone, just like everyone else. But in general and on a daily basis, I am not afraid. I know this to be true because I used to be afraid everyday. I know what daily fear and suffering is. I know it for good reason. But that good reason is false. I see that now. There comes a point where fear isn’t the topic anymore.

Clarity sets in.

Think about this idea: the most powerful people need nothing. I fully believe this with all my heart. Rich or poor, spiritual or not, ravens or physics: it comes from within. A purist can see through the external layers of fluff and into someone's soul. This is where you find magic. It is in the well of clarity that becomes alive and present, beyond the field of fear. This is G-Status living. But when I first heard the concept described by Don Juan, I was young and newly on my path. I didn’t get it. I do now.

I believe it is when you need nothing, that you attract everything. When you are at peace there are no needs.

We live in modern society and we all need help balancing. There is never enough time. I need 7 clones. I am exhausted. There is too much to do.  I still get on my crystal bed bimonthly because clearing my energy puts me in touch with myself, and I need all of my power to accomplish what I want to accomplish for myself and my daughter. I just want to emphasize that all these metaphysical, energetic, and wellness practices are the vehicles unto your becoming and authenticity.

These processes are a means to understand your unlimited power as a channel of Source, a co-creator here on the Earth plane, and a powerful human being.
Fuck the sage, this is about your power. Sheesh. Enough. 
I want to get to the core foundation of what makes a person powerful since everyone has a different definition. To me, powerful means you are at peace and are not afflicted by unresolved issues. An unresolved issue is anything that disturbs your peace. A powerful person is a master manifestor, meaning one who is able to co-create the dream of their life by easily attracting their heart’s desire. (This does not mean you are immune to life lessons or pain.) A powerful person is joyful and often laughs. It was the great visionary and French philosopher Pierre Teilhard De Chardin who said, “Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.” It’s true. I love that quote. A powerful person has a strong sense of self worth evident through behavior, lifestyle, and healthy boundaries. A powerful person knows themselves, the dark and the light, and accepts their unique nature while acting in total alignment with who they are.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about authenticity. It’s about honesty.

A powerful person speaks to the soul and communicates truth. A powerful person is a purist and has vision. A powerful person makes people feel good by their very presence alone. They honor others because they honor themselves. The more we honor our gifts, our unique nature and ourselves, something very special starts to happen…
You Give. Less. Fucks. 
And there is a reason for that. There is no one else in the world that can know your very nature as deeply as you can know yourself. Not everyone is willing to take the journey within, to know themselves. There is no one else that knows how far you can go and what you are capable of. There is no one else who can access your pure potential. No one. Start to know yourself as, The Master. Masters do not need frills, tricks, or props. Masters use their minds to serve their heart and intuitive senses, to go forth and fearlessly create the dreams that make them happiest.

I would say to you, that all of these practices are a means to a state of clarity. Do not forget the point: You are the Master. What YOU say goes. What YOU know, is the truth. No one trusts themselves. Move beyond this state of lack. Why do you fear your own voice? Child of the Light, you get to choose where to go and how to move in this world. It truly is all within you. Just you, completely raw, naked, alone in the woods without any material objects, can conjure up anything at all that you might need.  This is not magic. This is law.

Personal power comes from within you.


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