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UNCONSCIOUS COMMITMENTS: Three Ways To Overcome Patterns That Keep You Down

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Are you working really hard to get something, maybe it's more money, a job you’re passionate about, the right relationship or healthy friendships, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening? Are you struggling just to maintain? Exhausted from the tried and true effort? Wondering why it has to be so hard all the time? Well, you’re not alone. You’re not cursed. And it’s not all futile. You might just need to reexamine where you are directing your energy.

You might think that you are so deeply committed to getting what you want. But I’ve found in my practice as an energy healer and intuitive counselor, and in my own experience, that people who struggle and fail to attract what they want, harbor unconscious commitments to the exact opposite of their desire. Holy shit. Yeah... that's right. Now, what exactly does that mean? What is an unconscious commitment? Let me give you an example. Have you ever had a friend who was always in debt? Every time you see them, all they talk about is work, how spread thin they are, how they are just trying to catch up, how many payments they are unable to make, despite their desire to be financially free? You feel the tension every time you're around them. You see the furrow in their brow deepening. Maybe they refuse to get a renter for their home, temporarily move in with a family member or get a second job. And it’s as if they’ve become aligned with the problem and are beginning to identify with the form of the problem.

The problem itself, becomes who they are.

 You see, by constantly talking about the struggle of the situation, you are unconsciously giving more energy to it. There is great power in thought, and great power in the word. And this negative conversation with others or yourself becomes a self-sabotaging spell, binding you to a vibrational state of poverty consciousness and ultimately, debt. This friend vibrates "debt" all over her energy field, in her heart, and in her lifestyle. Or perhaps maybe you or someone you know continues to attract partners who refuse to commit. This person is always in some sort of dramatic entanglement with a person who is unable to give and receive love with emotional maturity. They begin to complain that the world is changing. All the good ones are gone. The age of relationship is over. Men are dogs. Women can’t be trusted. The world is a sad state of affairs. The justifying mantras go on and on and on. What I’ve found is that people who complain about attracting the wrong partners are unconsciously committed to being single. They’ve begun to identify with the vibration of isolation, and own it. Now, usually this is a deep and subconscious fear of intimacy being suppressed within themselves. This fear is then projected outwardly in the real world through the appearance of unhealthy lovers, to trigger the emotional pain within, until acknowledgment and awareness transmutes the deep core belief rooted in fear.

Maybe you are constantly being taken advantage of in business. Over and over, you work with the wrong partners or bosses who demean you. People continue to steal from you and do not pay you back. You may be committed to victim consciousness because it gives you a false sense of power, and you are afraid of your real power. It’s easier to complain and blame the perpetrator. Then you attract friends who are also victims. You all have coffee on Tuesdays and complain together, empowering the victimhood. Sometimes it becomes easier to stay down by letting someone else, or something else, be the bad guy. It's an easy way to not take responsibility for your life. And you might not even realize what is happening. 

Are you starting to see what I am talking about here? Energy is everything. Whatever energy you are enmeshed in, is what you will vibrate and ultimately project. Be aware of what you think, say, believe, feel and act upon.

If you see a pattern of attracting what you do not want and it is repeated more than 3 times, you can be sure you have an unconscious commitment to whatever is actually happening in your life.

 The reason it is so frustrating, is because it is happening subconsciously, right under your nose. Luckily, there is a way to turn the whole situation around.

1.     LOOK AT YOURSELF: Identify The Pattern. The first step is self-awareness. People are often so busy, fast and furiously in go mode that they do not stop and slow down enough to take a look at the real issue. Look at the patterns in your life. Everything that is happening is an expression of a vibrational pattern. And you have the power to choose which patterns create your story.

2.     GET REAL WITH YOURSELF: Identify The Underlying Fear. Now that you see the pattern, its time to get down and dirty with the truth. It’s true what they say, the truth shall set you free. What is it really that you are committed to? What is safe about this commitment? Are you afraid of power? Intimacy? Freedom? Is there a sub-personality created by the ego trying to protect you by holding you in darkness. Look at the deep-rooted fear. Why is it safer to engage with partners who refuse to get close? Why do you allow others to take advantage of you? Go through the emotional process.

3.     BRING LIGHT TO YOURSELF: Awareness Sheds Light. Working with a healer, a counselor, coach or your higher self can help you transform the situation. Oftentimes just the simple awareness of what you are doing can help identify those patterns and learn to stop yourself from repeating them in future behavior. Write opposing affirmations until you believe the empowering belief, versus the disempowering underlying fear. Get with me on the Crystal Bed to get help identifying the issue, reprogramming your physiology on a cellular level, and working with all parts of your being from the DNA, to the spirit and everything in between.

From this day on, pretend you are a Wizard, and every word you speak, thought you think, action you take is a divine enchantment. Because the truth is; you are, and it is. 

Now, maybe you are self aware, you know what your fears are, but you just can’t seem to stop repeating the pattern even though you really and truly want to. That is usually when we need some help with energetic re-calibration. Perhaps you have a massive energy block or vibrational wound keeping you stuck in a looping pattern. It is important to get regular energetic clearings. You can always find me at I am here to help. We wash our bodies and hair everyday, and yet don’t think about making sure our auric fields are clean. And the state of your energy field directly indicates how you are vibrating! Your vibration is the foundation of what you manifest! Sometimes we need a little bit of help identifying these issues and paving a clear path towards the life we want to create.  

As always, I send you love, blessings and light. It is my wish that this information serves you well. My hope is that you not only learn to access your innate genius, but to own it. May your genius serve this world. 


Sat Nam,




  • Dezi: March 13, 2020

    I just came across this after realizing I do have an unconscious pattern and need help fixing it. Thank you for this much needed and on time read!

  • Regina: September 04, 2018

    I just came across this today. Wow, this is really good. Thank you.

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