Do you ever feel like life is happening to you, and there isn't anything you can do about it?
Do you catch yourself blaming circumstances?
Or your idiot ex-spouse?
All the ignorant mistakes your parents made?
The way the system is set up to keep you down?
Do you find yourself looking back at your past and thinking, "Man if only that one thing didn't happen, life could have been so much better."
"Why me?" And so forth...
A mentality of victimhood can happen to the best of the best until we simply know better.
Once we recognize there is only one thing we can do to ameliorate circumstances out of our control, especially when it comes to injustice, trauma, shit storms and suffering, our outer world begins to shift.
The one thing that YOU DO have power over is your internal reaction and belief systems around the problem.
To those of you do not know, the reason I am so big on empowerment is because I lived for so long as a victim. And my goal is to help people become empowered co-creators, manifesting like wizards.
Starting at age 12, depression and anxiety lead to cutting and drug/alcohol addiction. There too much much pain at home and within me for me to understand how to cope, and I had no tools.
I was raped 18 and still work with uncovering memories of past sexual abuse from earlier in my childhood.
I had a series of toxic, unhealthy relationships wrought with anger, verbal and physical abuse, addiction, control and fear.
I felt isolated my whole life because I didn't know how to control my visionary and empathetic ability. I could see too much. And I was taking on everyone's pain into my energy field.
I had a baby when I was 20 and the relationship was a disaster.
I've had CPS attempt to take away my daughter out of what seemed to be a witch hunt.
When I finally escaped, I found myself very young, without a degree or any career to stand on, my ex had cleaned out the bank accounts and thought it was funny that my daughter and I had nothing. I tried to find solace at home, but a lifelong turbulent relationship with my father led to me being disowned and kicked out of the house. I was declared the sole problem of the whole family (though this wound has been healed and alchemized through time and growth, and my father and I have a healthy relationship now.)
Well, I thought I had hit rock bottom.
Then, I found out I was pregnant with a second child.
I had to get an abortion in an unclean facility without any pain medicine, and it rocked my body and hormones for a long time and to this day is one of my most horrible memories.
There was a moment of ultimate collapse where I was estranged from friends and family, had no money, couldn't get a job or even afford a babysitter so that I could go work, with an ex that had it out for me, and was in so much pain and recovering from past trauma I didn't know what to do or where the light was. Helena was having night terrors every night waking up screaming in agony.
Let's just say, it was the culmination of a lifetime of pain all exploded into a moment. That time in my life, on my knees on the floor--I will never forget.
I've died a thousand times. It has shaped who I am as a woman.
With nothing left, I had only one option.
I had only one solution.
Go within. Build my power. Out of nothing.
Some of you may have heard me say that real power is invisible, and now you know the reason I believe that.
I believe in our ability to recreate ourselves from nothing.
I share my story so that you understand I really mean what I say, and for those of you lost in darkness, know that there is a way out.
You have the ability to turn your life around through cultivating spiritual power and awareness.
You have the power to decide what is, and what is not going to be-- your story.
And the truth is, the greats knew they were great before anyone else did.
Maybe no one else knew it, but I did. I was the only fan I needed. Sometimes, that's all you've got. And guess what, it is enough to get started. I promise you. Because Source, Spirit, God, Light, is always with you. And that light is easiest to see when all is dark.
You see, if you can transcend what you perceive as the dark forces trying to bring you down, you win.
The moment you can sit down and have tea with your demons, you've become neutral. When you become neutral, demons become flies.
The second you can say, "So what, you want to destroy me? Go ahead. My heart is open. Fear and darkness isn't even real. I am so powerful beyond this physical body you can't touch it!" Well, my friend, you have won.
Now, I look back and thank God for everything that was taken away from me. I learned at a very young age that real power has nothing to do with anything outside of you. Power isn't listed on paper. You feel it in someone's energy field.
I learned at a very young age what was of value and what was not. I believe it was God getting me spiritually worked out ASAP because I have a lot of work to do in this life.
"OK Kalisa, it might be a little uncomfortable, but we are going to fuck your shit up, and because you're a badass you're going to handle it like a pro and teach others stat. Let's get on this and get it over with. No biggie."
All the drama is almost comical to me now. But going through it, I can't tell you how many times I wanted to give up.
But what I cultivated was an unshakable understanding that I am unbreakable. Nothing can touch me, no matter what it looks like and no matter what others see. And the same is true for you. You are a spiritual being, a child of the light, and your empowerment lies in your understanding that you are unbreakable.
And if you are in a time of difficulty, I KNOW you are going to figure it out too. Just like I did.
Transformative Empowerment Rules
Rule #1: Anytime you are playing the role of "VICTIM" there is a part of you playing the roles of "BULLY" and "RESCUER" as well. These archetypes are linked in a triangle.
You have to ask yourself, which small part of my ego is bullying myself? Can I empower the part of myself who will be my rescuer? Can I let go of the part of me that identifies as a victim?
Rule #2: Victimhood is a pattern. You can change that pattern. But you have to be willing to let go of what is familiar. Just because it's familiar doesn't mean it is healthy.
It might be scary, foreign or uncomfortable at first. But no evolution happens inside your comfort zone. Sometimes it's harder to handle a shift in power than it is to hold on to your pain. Most of the time people are more afraid of who they could be in the light. Stepping into the light means being seen without the blanket of trauma and distraction covering you up. It means being seen beyond your human story. It means transparency. It means vulnerability.
Rule #3: Anytime you hate, lash out in anger, judge, or blame--- your energy field weakens and shrinks. You leak energy. You lose power.
I remember crying in the shower, not knowing what to do. I would imagine angelic light around my ex. Hating wouldn't help. It is hurt people who hurt people. I would pray for his evolution. I would send him love and hope one day he would see clearly.
And guess what, eventually he did. And we now have a respectful, pain-free relationship.
Rule #4: When you treat yourself with respect, you command respect.
You set the tone for how you are to be treated. You train people. You teach them through your energy, countenance, speech and boundaries what is tolerable and allowed. When you empower yourself, other's follow suit and assume you are one who is to be respected. I watched this happen over time. It was amazing. As I shifted my inner world, I saw my outer world shift.
Rule #5: You will not cease to see darkness in your outer world until you are brave enough to bring your own darkness to the light.
It doesn't matter what happened to me or why. It doesn't matter who did what. It doesn't matter because those are not things I have control over. What I did have control over was looking deeply at myself and asking why I was engaging in abusive relationships in the first place? Why did I want to escape my body with drugs? Why was my self esteem so low? How was I being judgmental? Small minded? How much fear was inside of me? Why couldn't I embrace the mystic inside of me? Why did I want the visionary to stay down?
WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU CAN START TO SEE YOURSELF AS THE MASTER ON THE MOUNTAIN, BEYOND THE CHAOS OF DUELING POLARITIES?BEGIN WORKING WITH YOUR MINDSET IN MEDITATION TO SEE DARKNESS DIFFERENTLY. DARKNESS IS A TEACHER PROPELLING YOU TOWARDS LIGHT.
I CREATED AN EXERCISE CALLED
THE COLOR MEDITATION: TRANSFORMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO DARKNESS.
Here you will work with color, virtue, cellular embodiment and crystal sound healing in a simple, 10 minute exercise filled with beauty and artistry. I personally guide you through a process that worked so amazingly well for me until you start to see darkness in a different light. You will train your mind into compassion, amusement, humility and neutrality. That which seemed a source of harm will become harmless in the wake of your empowered mastery. Do this meditation 21 days consecutively to break the pattern. Do it for 40 days for mastery.
Revisit this meditation any time you feel victimized.
Download it here.
You are not little, you are big. Your voice matters. Your empowerment is the world's becoming. And it is my honor to support that transition.
It is my hope that sharing a part of my story instilled some light and healing for you.
May you walk your highest walk, and embody the highest potential of your creative capacity.
Our time here is limited. Life is precious. Alchemize the pain and the magic and miraculous is cued by Spirit.
I believe wholeheartedly in the potential of your extraordinary self. That self, is what the world needs.
"The Universe is holding its breath, waiting for you to take your place." - Jean Houston
P.S. Healing my energy regularly helped me to feel and embody the light I was trying to become. Not only did I retrain my mind, but I retrained my energy patterns. Has it been a while? Book your next session today.